This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Adam Ate the Apple and Eve Got the Shaft


       “The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves if we are underlings…” William Shakespeare

 

Certain vital questions remain answered. In an effort to set the record straight in this day and age of Snowdenism i.e.: letting all the cats out of the proverbial bag, I shall endeavor to address one of those mysteries that have plagued man since the beginning of time.

Find out what's happening in Beverly Hillswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

First and foremost, as a woman who has endured both natural childbirth and the fun of a hysterectomy, I have often wondered who cut that birthing deal in the Garden of Eden?

One might imagine because Adam and Eve were alone and there was no Marvin Mitchelson listed in the phone book, she quite literally got the shaft.

Find out what's happening in Beverly Hillswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

However, my research into the matter tells quite a different story. Why do women have the babies and men have all the fun and all the stuff?

Is it because men are smarter? Yeah, right! LOL

Is it because they called shotgun first? Nope.

Is it because she is a lower life form than the man?

Fat chance. Have you ever seen men watching a football game? There are more bodily functions being tossed around that room than the football.

Okay, so why you ask. I shall enlighten you in biblical terms and those more pragmatic among you might opt to go with the flow here.

Here is the truth, and keep in mind I am not a feminist because in the words of the late journalist Adela Rogers St. John, “I would never lower myself to be equal with any man.”

When Eve shook her apple in front of Adam and led him astray, God shook his finger at her and said simply, “Eve, I expected more of you.”

There they are, the words that no one can counter or rebut. How do you answer someone who has just said they hold you in higher esteem than you hold yourself? That’s a tough one on so many levels. I hate those words, usually spoken by parents to older children who are being asked to overlook the awful behavior of a younger sibling.

Adam and Eve weren’t siblings you say, and yes it’s true the Garden of Eden is not Kentucky, however, there is truth to my ramblings.

God made man, and religious or not, one must admit, and even an atheist can’t dispute this one, whoever made man could have done a whole lot better job.

Now I am not saying God didn’t know what he was doing, I am sure he had a reason for all the obvious flaws, but really it seems evident to thinking people that Eve is the new and improved model.

If Adam is the Edsel, than Eve must be the Prius.

Now stay with me here. There is a lot of evil in the world today, and unfortunately and indisputably men are offering up most of the bad to humanity. Yep, murder, mayhem, rape, honor killings, war, chemical weapons, so sadly the list is endless.

And what has this to do with Eve and childbirth you ask? And how the heck is any of this relevant? Just this. All the evil men do is for one reason and one reason alone.

God expected more from Eve and Eve let men run amuck.

That’s right ladies and gents. In the words of pop psychology, Eve was the world’s greatest enabler and even now she continues that tradition.

Who has allowed men to start wars, kill children, rape, and pillage and wreak havoc on the world? WOMEN. That’s who.

Who, even now, sit back while men kidnap little girls, use chemical weapons against children, let themselves be persuaded by crazy men with insane agendas to strap a bomb to their ass, and blow up other human beings? Yep, sisters, that’s who.

Who allow women to be murdered and stoned to death because they were raped by a man, allow judges in the United States to sentence men who rape little children six minutes in jail while they scream and hyperventilate over getting free birth control that costs nine bucks a month? You got it, women!

I like to think Betty Freidan is rolling in her grave to see how the Feminist movement has been hijacked by ideologues with a one-trick-pony agenda, while women suffer throughout the world. However, since Gloria Steinem is alive and not so vocal or gathering up an army, I figure Betty is just happy women get the right to choose.

And what have we chosen, I ask?

According to an article in the New York Times, “women occupy 24 percent of state legislative seats, 10 percent of the governorships and account for less than 20 percent of Congress. They make up 51 percent of the population.”

There are women murdered, mutilated and raped across the planet every day while 25,000 children die. The list of horrors that constitute our reality is endless, yet what do women do? They scream about someone taking away their right to get an abortion. Are you kidding me?

Where is the outrage toward men who spend their days figuring out new and more gruesome ways to kill, who build weapons of mass destruction and use them on children, toward women judges who let rapists go free and children being bullied in school because they don’t conform to what others think they should be? Or about kids and teachers murdered in classrooms? Etc., etc, etc.

I’m not hearing your outrage, girls!

If you go on The National Organization for Women’s website the first thing you’ll see, and most of the front page, is filled with worries about abortion reform. Really? Seriously?

How about a page screaming about the atrocities that have turned this world into an asylum for the criminally insane and railing against them instead of women who are Pro Life.

Eve got the pain because God did expect more from her. Women know what men are capable of, although they too often pretend not to.

They can’t help it the little darlings, it’s who they are, just doesn’t hold water anymore.

But I ask you girls, WHO THE HELL ARE WE?”

We have enabled, allowed, and turned the other way. Why?

We complain that men don’t pay us the same money, allow us to be executives, control the government and then put our faith in women who are the greatest enablers of all. Hillary turned the other way while her husband lied and humiliated her in the eyes of the world. That “stand by your man” bull is no example for women whose husbands are abusive, unkind and disrespectful toward them. A role model for women, is this the best we can do?

If she is president a man, Bill, will be running this country again.

I am not judging. As a woman I have been guilty of turning the other way, of being Cleopatra and living in denial. Like all women I strove to keep the peace at any cost, but in the end peace is never what we get.

So, what’s the point you ask and what are these ravings of yours going to accomplish? After all, men rule the world and it’s too late to take it back.

I contend it isn’t. Life was born in the Garden of Eden; remember we’re doing a religious thing here. We gave up our power that day and we were punished, and continue to be.

Women send their babies to war, at the hands of men.

Women weep while others are murdered cruelly and systemically.

Children die horrible and cruel deaths.

The fairer sex has truly suffered the most for their folly. Simply, because we never understood the essential truth of our existence, “God expected more of us.”

Isn’t it time we expected more of ourselves? That we stop permitting women to speak for us who don’t have a clue about what is important?

That we allow men to rule the roost as we sit by and watch in frustration?

We had to battle to even vote? Are you kidding me with that one?

But we won! And we can win again if we stop battling one another, understand we are united by what is truly significant and join forces. We can take back this world and make it safe for our children.

Women must be determined and strong enough to do what needs to be done. I truly believe that if humanity is to survive this crucial test we now face it is only the daughters of Eve who can change the world. That can take the craziness away from men and restore intellectualism and intelligence into the mix.

Otherwise, I say we may as well go shopping and enjoy what time we possess. There is no doubt men are hell bent on destroying this planet, and until we stop enabling them and fighting one another, we are all headed for certain disaster.

And if you find my conclusions depressing, why do you think God invented chocolate?

 

 

 

 


We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?